Serenity Now!

When I was a little girl, there was a cartoon called “The Jetson’s”. It was kind of a space-age “Leave it to Beaver” or “The Flintstones,” but it was set in the future.

George Jetson, the patriarc of the family, flew to work everyday in his little one-man flying saucer. I don’t remember the name of the mother or what she did, so she must have just shopped all day at the space-age version of Macy’s. Or maybe she sold Tupperware or played bridge all day or something. I know she wasn’t a housewife because they had Rosie, the robot house keeper. She was like an electronic version of Alice on the “Brady Bunch.” In addition to getting George out the door on time, cleaning house and doing all the cooking, she tended to the children: Judy and Elroy.

Judy was a blonde bombshell who went to high school and charmed the boys with her three inch waist and air-head personality. Elroy was a dorky little kid who wore a beanie on his head that had a propeller stuck on top. (He couldn’t fly with the propeller or anything. I guess he was just dorky enough to think it was space-age chic.) He was always getting yelled at by George for his dork-boy antics. (Ellllllroyyyyyyy!!)

So this middle class family and their trusty maid lived in a space-age house with all the space-age nieceties George could afford to provide for his family. One of things they had was a conveyor belt shower. The family would stand on it in spaced-out intervals and one by one they would be whisked along while a series of machines cleaned and primped them for the day. They would get hosed down, soaped up and shampooed. Carried along by the conveyor belt, they would get custom hygiene specific to their needs: deodorant sprayed (no need to worry about the environment - they were in space!) shaved, hair combed and styled, makeup applied if necessary and dressed. All done by robots in a fraction of the time it would take to perform these tasks themselves.

That’s why I want to be a Jetson.

I hate getting ready in the morning. I don’t mind being ready. I just hate getting ready. It’s the same damn thing over and over: shower, shampoo, deodorant, fix my hair and spackle my face. God help me if I have to shave my legs! (by the way, once I tried to wax my legs. I didn’t know how to do it and the directions really weren’t that specific so I waited until the wax was almost completely dry before ripping it off. Anyone who has waxed anything - including a car - will tell you that you don’t wait for the wax to dry! My legs were severely swollen, bright red and stung like hell for three days. Yikes!)

Anyway, I think someone needs to invent this conveyor belt thing. I can’t do it. I’m very busy. Besides, I have no technological skills. Remember the problems I had with my scale? Okay. So someone needs to get on this project right away! It would just make my life a little less tedious. Thank you in advance.