Serenity Now!

I’m having a fabulous day! Nothing specific. Maybe all my planets are aligned or something. Whatever it is, I don’t care. I feel great!

I have 500 more words to write, and I’ll get it done, did my five miles, the day is all about bright blue sky and warm summer air.

This is when I have to be most careful, though, because it’s when I’m feeling my best that it’s easiest to sabotage myself. In the past, it’s been easy for me to forget my meds when I’m feeling this good. Some counter-productive part of my brain tells me I don’t need them. I’m cured! No more depression I’ve struggled with all my life, no anxiety, nothing. All better! Woo hoo! And all it took was one perfect day. If only I’d known years ago.

The thing I have to remind myself is that these days haven’t come easily. They’re the result of self discipline. The kind of discipline it takes for me to know what I need to do to take care of myself. For me, it means staying actively sober (some call it working a program) and attending to my health - mental and otherwise.

So good for me! After all these years, it’s about time I take care of myself. And I deserve it. That’s what I keep reminding myself, anyway. And I do need to remind myself. It’s been a long, hard journey, and the thing I still struggle with most is believing I deserve a good life - that it’s okay for me to take up space on this spinning rock, and it’s okay for me to be happy. In fact, it’s vital. For my recovery, my sanity and my life, it’s vital.

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